I got home a little earlier than usual yesterday. I was catching up on some reading and my wife had left the TV on downstairs in the area where I was reading. I tuned to the Lehrer Report as it occasionally has interesting guests and the chatter is less obnoxious than the cable people. The miracle? I did not hear one reference to Michael Jackson.
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Media references to him still continue on Twitter; I just this minute got a Tweet about breaking news on how tickets to his public memorial will be distributed. (Let’s see: Tuesday morning at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. This would probably not be the best Tuesday for me to take off work and go into LA, then.)
On a side note, I’m still not quite used to this whole business of various arenas being named for corporations; when I heard “Staples Center,” I first pictured the memorial taking place at some Staples store.
Carnac (Holds envelope to brow): Staples Center…
Ed [Requiescat in pace]: Hohoho!!! Staples Center!
Carnac (Tears envelope open, blows inside, removes slip to read): What’s the last thing the assembly line does at the Playboy bindery?
Carnac (As before): Collatoral damage…
Ed (Puts drink down): Collatoral stimulation -
Carnac (Shoots corner-eyed bloody smirk Ed’s way): – collatoral damage!!! Ed moonlighting as sidekick on Dr. Freud’s couch…May a frustrated girlfriend never stop complaining about your tiny “Portnoy”…
Ed (Spit-takes Johnny Walker): HARHARHAR!!!Collatoral damage!!!
Carnac: What do you call the pinprick scars on Miss December’s assets after she leaves the “Staples Center”?…
(Fade to clip of galloping – and hiccupping – Budweiser Clydesdales)