The Elgin Pearls at the Atheneatum

Britons arrested in Greek sex competition

ATHENS (Reuters) – Nine British women were facing prostitution charges after being arrested at the weekend for taking part in an oral sex competition in the Greek holiday island of Zakynthos, police said on Monday.

Six British and six Greek men, including two bar owners, were also charged in the incident, which took place at Laganas beach in the south of the Ionian island, which lies off the west coast of mainland Greece, police said.

The women, who came to the popular resort on holiday, had been paid to take part in the competition, which was video recorded and was to be posted on the Internet, police said.

The men were charged with encouraging obscene behaviour…

I was about to ask how one “wins” such a “competition” – and do the presiding “judges” so enlisted hold up point cards after each “round”?

- when I saw that any answer implicates one in fellatious reasoning:

Flatio:  O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!

Om’let: There are more stamps in heaven and earth, Flatio

Than are dreamt of in our philately.

Flatio:  There be no Love’s Labour’s Lost ‘twixt me and Stampfolio:

What have you done for me, Philately?

Om’let: One more yolk cracked thus, Flatio

And I shall beseech thee get to a punnery.

Flatio:  Three eggs did joust in knight’s cast-irony for the Skillet Sir Prize [Armour is a prow'd spawn, Sire, of the 1608 Skillet Sir Prize]

And one was a-scrambled.

Om’let: Sanctuary! Sanctuary much!

Flatio:  No, Sankt you: Hu-go, Gar-goyle!